Tony always used to tell me to think less and feel more, but I never could. Now that that's all I can do, I can see he was right – and if feelings are his gift from the grave, I'm afraid of taming them into words. A beautifully written, breathtakingly honest, unsentimental, profound memoir of love and loss from one of our most popular journalists In May 2014, on a hot still morning on a beautiful beach in Jamaica, Decca Aikenhead's life changed irrevocably. First her four year old son Jake, pootling by the water's edge in his pyjamas, was dragged out to sea on a riptide. Then Tony, her partner and Jake's father, dived in to save him, but drowned in the process. Tony – a Northern, mixed race former prisoner, drug dealer and crack addict – "Black" and "Decca" – a prize-winning Guardian journalist from the West Country – had always made an improbable couple. For years they tried to find a way to come together from very different starting places. Tony reformed himself, got an...