Something like hate, p.9
Something like Hate, page 9
part #1 of Chicago Grizzlies Series
“Does it make you jealous? Thinking of me with someone else?”
I’m not sure of the answer I want. I spent the entire trip back to Chicago listing all the reasons we can’t be together, and now I’m baiting her to say she feels jealous where I’m concerned.
“No,” she says. “I just meant it’s not exactly like you need a dating site.”
The plane is taxiing, and most of the team is collecting their stuff. Damon’s razzing Cooper about his interceptions, and Cooper’s pointing out all his flaws during the game. No one is paying attention to us, so I figure I’m not going to hold back.
“So, you’re saying I’m attractive?”
She looks at me from the corner of her eye, her notebook giving her trouble as she tries over and over to shove it into her bag. “I’m pretty sure you know you’re attractive. Have you never looked in a mirror?”
“Well, my shoulders are surprisingly comfortable. Maybe you also think my jaw is surprisingly chiseled? That my lips are surprisingly full and soft? My eyes so surprisingly clear you could lose yourself in them?”
“Are you done fishing for compliments? Do you need me to stroke your ego a bit so you can gain enough confidence to hit on a woman at a bar?” She finally gets the notebook in her bag, and she zips it up. I would’ve helped, but she would’ve hated me for it.
My face screws up. “The last place I’d pick up a woman is a bar.”
“Why?”
“Because they’re only out to say they slept with me. That’s not what I’m looking for.”
“And what are you looking for?” She glances around to double-check that no one’s paying attention to us.
“Someone I can dedicate my life to. A wife, the kids, the dog, the house. I want it all.”
She’s giving me a look like maybe she thinks I’m crazy. “Right now, you want all that?”
It’d be nice, but I’m not sure if it’s destined to happen. “I do. But although I have a decent off-season, football season is hard, and you have to be one hundred percent committed. I don’t want a wife worrying about me out there. Not that I would ever cheat, but it’s hard to be the wife of a player in the league. Takes a special kind of woman to deal with all of that. If I can find a woman who can deal with that while I’m still in the league, perfect. But I realize it might have to wait until I’m done playing. I’ve seen marriages crash and burn after months, or only last only a season or two. The happy ones are few and far between.”
“That’s not true. Look at Lee and Shayna, Brady and Violet. Look at your sister and Chase. They’re all making it work.” She ticks them off on her fingers.
She has a point I guess.
“True.” I shrug. “Maybe I just haven’t met ‘the one’ yet then.”
She sucks in a sharp breath and says nothing. The flight attendants open the cabin door, and all the players rise out of their seats to file out, so our conversation ends there. Once we’re off the plane, she shoulders through the crowd before I can catch up to her.
At the car riding line, she’s with Cooper, and both of them have their phones out. I’m thinking the messages coming through are from Ellery, but I don’t really know.
Damon comes up alongside me. “Share a ride back to our place?” He claps me on the shoulder.
My eyes remain on Bryce as she heatedly talks with Cooper. What am I missing?
“It’s not our place,” I say.
He laughs. “Don’t be so literal.” He elbows me. “Saw you had your ‘girl wonder’ next to you. Any kissing while everyone was asleep?”
“She’s not my ‘girl wonder.’ She’s the reporter for the team.”
He leans in close. “I see the way you look at her, man. Your secret is safe with me.”
I shake my head as my car arrives. I can’t get in it fast enough. Unfortunately, Damon slides in right next to me. The driver pulls off the curb, and we drive farther and farther away from where Bryce stands.
How can I miss her already? I only ever get small bits of time with her. What I wouldn’t do for a chunk of time, a meal, anything. Once again, I have to remind myself of all the reasons why we can’t be together. Probably the biggest of which is that she doesn’t want to be with me. She ran out on me—I should tattoo it on my skin, so I don’t forget.
Chapter 13
Bryce
“You need to answer your mom. She called me while you were on the plane,” Elle continues her lecture to me on the phone.
I blow out a breath. “I’m not talking to her right now. I can’t. She’s being so stupid. What is she thinking, taking him back?”
I hear the sound of someone at the hospital speaking over the intercom.
“It’s her decision, not yours. You need to support her.” Elle uses her sweet voice. The one she’ll probably use when she’s a mother and her kid scrapes his knee. It’s part of what makes her a great doctor—her excellent bedside manner and ability to deliver difficult information with a calming voice.
“It’s my decision not to involve myself in it. He’s going to hurt her again.”
All I hear is her breathing for a moment. “You’re so stubborn.”
“You know I have my reasons.” Elle, out of everyone, knows the hang-ups my dad left me with.
When your parents divorce when you’re young, and every time you’re with your dad he leaves you in a hotel room to go pick up some random woman, you tend to grow up with hang-ups. My mom got sick a few years ago, and my dad returned home to help, and shortly after, they called to tell me that they’d fallen back in love. And now they’re getting married and want me to stand by their sides as they celebrate their love on some beach in Jamaica.
I’m so thankful my mom is in remission, but I cannot pretend to be happy that she wants to remarry my father.
“It doesn’t sound like your dad is who he was before.”
“Right now, he isn’t. What about years down the road when he forgets what he felt like when he thought she was going to die, and he’s no longer satisfied with her? He tossed her to the curb once, he’ll do it again.”
“Okay, I have to go back to my patients, my five minutes are up. I’m not getting through to you at all anyway. So, drinks tomorrow?”
“Maybe. I have to go meet with Shelly Breckles today, then I’m on my article for this week. If I get enough done, sure.”
“The girl who didn’t know she was pregnant? Isn’t she on maternity leave?” Her tone is judgmental, and I assume it’s because she’s in the medical field and can’t fathom someone not knowing they’re pregnant, but some people aren’t in tune with their bodies.
“Yeah, it’s a long story, I’ll tell you when I see you.”
“Okay. Love you. Think about the advice your wise friend just gave you. Plus, if your mom calls me again, I’m adding you to the call. Gotta go.”
She hangs up before I can stop her. I’ll have to be careful when I answer her phone calls from now on.
I head to the L train station and follow the directions that Shelly gave me on the phone.
As I sit on the train and do one of my favorite things—people watch—I go over what my options are for the article. I have no choice but to be truthful about how the Grizzlies played, but I can’t imagine showing my face at the stadium if I trash them in print. I’m going to have to finesse my words.
My thoughts drift to Miles and the fact that I drooled on his shoulder. He held my hand the whole plane ride, and I can’t remember the last time I allowed myself to be vulnerable like that with someone. But it felt nice to have someone take some of the weight from me.
I get off the L and walk the three blocks to Bucktown. She lives in an apartment on the second floor of a four-flat. She buzzes me up, and I hear the baby crying the entire way up the stairs. I knock softly even though the baby is awake.
Shelly answers the door with her hair pulled up in a messy bun, her freckled skin on display in her tank top and shorts.
“Hey, come on in.” She steps aside, rocking the baby who is still crying. “Would you mind taking him?”
She shoves the baby wrapped in a blue blanket into my arms before I can answer. I lower my one shoulder so my messenger bag falls to the floor while she walks over to the kitchen.
“He’s been needy all day. Do you want a drink?”
I’m relieved when she pulls out a bottle of water. For some reason, I assumed she meant a drink drink. Although it’s really none of my business. I don’t even know if she’s breastfeeding.
“I’m okay. Mr. Osterman said you wanted me to share information with you?”
Her eyes light up. “Actually, first, I want to hear how you know Cooper Rice so well.”
She moves from the kitchen over to the couch and sits cross-legged as I hold her baby, who finally stops crying. I’m not really a baby kind of person. I love them, think they’re cute, but I’m an only child. If it wasn’t for Elle and her big family, I wouldn’t even know what it’s like to be around kids.
“Um.” I sit on the edge of the chair across from her, glancing at the bassinet and hoping she’ll tell me to put him in there, but I think since he’s not crying, this is how I’ll spend my time here. “I went to college with him.”
“And your friend Ellery, are they dating?” She’s not asking like she’s making conversation, more like she’s conducting an interview. Actually, more of an interrogation.
“No, they’re just friends.” I keep all my thoughts about them to myself. Shelly doesn’t need to know that.
“And Damon, you know him?”
I shake my head. “No, I only met him when I arrived in town.”
“Okay, then you knew Miles from San Francisco, right?”
I nod then tilt my head.
“You were friends with him there?”
“Shelly, can I ask why you want to know all this?”
She draws back, seeming surprised. “I’m just curious to see how close you are to the subjects. Grant mentioned it.”
“Well, I can assure you, as I did him, that my personal feelings aren’t going to be incorporated in my articles. They won’t get a free pass.” I fiddle with the baby’s pacifier.
“I didn’t think that, but I’m interested to see your article this week after that terrible game they had.”
“Yeah, I was thinking on the way over about how I would handle it.” I tell her what I’m thinking, and we go back and forth for a few minutes.
Then we sit in silence, and she watches me with her son. All I want to do is pass him back and get out of here. I see no sign of her boyfriend, and it’s the middle of the day. Aren’t chefs usually home during the day and out at dinner?
“Where’s your boyfriend?” I ask just to break the silence.
“He’s out grocery shopping. He’s been a big help.”
“That’s great.”
“Uh-huh.”
We sit in silence for another minute until finally she comes over and takes the baby, then places him in his bassinet.
“Thanks for getting him to fall asleep,” she says.
“I’m not sure I did anything.”
“Can I see your notes?”
I want to grab my bag, hug it to my chest in toddler fashion, and shake my head, repeating no, over and over again. But she’s just looking out for her job, making sure things are okay in her absence. If I want to get assigned to another national team at some point, I have to play nice with the others. Mr. Osterman was clear that I had to share everything with her, so I hand her my notebook.
She flips through the pages, reading it with no facial expressions. The longer she’s quiet, the more worried I become. Finally, she places it on the table between us. “You’re very observant.”
“Thanks.”
“Looks like you have things handled. Good luck on this week’s article. I want to shower while he’s sleeping, so we’ll meet up next week, okay?” She stands and grabs the baby monitor sitting on the coffee table.
By the time I stand, she’s halfway to the hallway.
“Sure, okay.”
I walk toward the door, and I notice all her heels in a pile by the door. I imagine that when you have a baby, you have no time to do anything else, like put your shoes away.
When the door shuts behind me, I’ve never felt freer in my life. My reporter gut is telling me something is going on, but I can’t figure out what.
The article wasn’t received as badly as I expected. Cooper told me the locker room understood they’d played a crappy game and didn’t have any hard feelings toward me.
It was a home game this week, so Elle and I decided to wait for the guys at the stadium. Sometimes it’s fun to watch the jersey-chasers in action. But the weather is changing fast, and it’s colder at night. Something I didn’t dress for, so I shiver uncontrollably.
“Where the hell is he? Take a shower and get out here, Coop.” I shake my head as Elle laughs.
“I get that you lived in San Francisco for a while, but what were you thinking, not bringing a jacket with you?” She’s using her judgmental, oldest-child voice with me.
“Because I’m not used to grabbing a jacket on the way out the door this time of year. The weather is so unpredictable here.” I wrap my arms around myself, and my teeth chatter.
The doors finally open.
“Thank fuck,” I murmur quietly, since there are some kids with parents waiting.
Damon walks out, and he high fives, signs autographs, and winks at the women. All the women wearing short dresses corral around him as though he’s the stud and they’ll happily sign up to take turns.
“I’m nauseated watching him,” I say.
“Yeah, it’s annoying. He probably won’t be coming back to Coop’s tonight. If he does, he’s going to bring one of them.” Elle’s nose wrinkles.
The doors open again, and my heart lodges in my throat when it’s Miles and a few other defensive players. He’s wearing a suit, although not all players wear them out. His broad shoulders in the navy-blue jacket with a classic white shirt and no tie look phenomenal. The shirt is tucked into his taut waist, and he’s got brown shoes paired with it. But it’s the blue of his suit pulling out the color in his eyes, contrasting with his dark hair, that really gets my heart racing.
He has a duffel bag swung over his shoulder, and the women who Damon isn’t giving any attention to turns to him.
“Miles!” they call in unison.
“If I thought I was nauseous before, I’m literally swallowing bile back down now.”
Elle glances at me but says nothing. I already know her thoughts. I don’t need to read her mind.
Miles walks over to the women, and I watch his every step, wanting to run over there and take those girls by their hair, swing them around, and shot put them right into Lake Michigan like shot puts.
“He was just telling me last night, he doesn’t…” I stop talking because he walks right past them and kneels in front of the kids.
“Aw…” Elle puts her hand over her heart. “I love it when Coop does that.”
I feel her eyes on me, but I refuse to give her any reaction. She’ll read into it.
Of course, subtlety doesn’t run through Elle’s veins, so she elbows me as if I’m not purposefully ignoring her. “See, they’re not all bad.”
I ignore her. Cooper comes out a few minutes later and gives some high fives, a few autographs to the parents and kids, but he ignores the women as well before he’s right in front of us.
“I didn’t know you guys were waiting for me,” he says in a tone that suggests it’s a problem.
I really hope he doesn’t have a date or something. Elle will pretend she doesn’t care, but then she’ll ask me questions all night like, “what do you think his type is?” or “where do you think he took her?” I’m not in the mood to deal with it when I’m trying to shelter myself from probing questions at the moment.
“We said we were going to,” Elle says.
“Well, bad news. I drove the Corvette today. Two-seater.”
Cooper has an old-school Corvette that he restored with his dad a long time ago. He doesn’t take it out of storage a lot, so I’m curious why he did today.
“My dad’s birthday,” he says without us asking. Cooper isn’t one to hide much.
“Well, you go and I’ll Uber it,” Elle is quick to say to me.
“No need. We have two more guys who are going to the same place. Miles!” he yells.
Miles finishes signing the last kid’s hat and takes a picture with him before walking over. He gives me a once-over, and as cold as I am, I feel as if I just stepped in front of a bonfire for a moment the way his gaze drags over me. His bag drops to the ground, and he shrugs out of his suit jacket, handing it over to me.
“Aw,” Ellery says way too loudly.
“I’m fine,” I say.
“Take the jacket, Bryce,” he says with a bite to his tone.
“Fine. Thanks.” I sound begrudging, and he shakes his head at me.
“Can you get Bryce back to our place?” Cooper asks.
“I’m a grown woman, I can Uber.”
“Well, we’ll share one. Mine is already here.” He nods toward the car waiting at the edge of the parking lot.
“I can get there myself,” I argue, but Elle and Cooper are already walking over to his Corvette.
Mile sighs. “Just get in the car, Bryce.”
I huff and follow because what choice do I have? Now I’m wearing his suit jacket and riding with him back to his place in the same Uber. To an outsider, it looks as though we’re dating. That’s the last thing I need.
Chapter 14
Miles
“You didn’t tell me he was coming,” Bryce says loudly enough for me to hear.
Ellery and Cooper planned for us to go tubing on some river an hour outside of the city. She even rented a big SUV so we could all travel together.
“I assumed you were coming. It’s no one’s fault you didn’t do the same.” I toss my backpack in the back of the vehicle.
