Lost in transit, p.9
Lost in Transit, page 9
part #6 of Bob and Nikki Series
“Yes, Dear.”
She made it about halfway down her cup before she quit glaring at me.
“What do we have to do today, Caveman?”
“We need to do another power core test, as soon as Topper has the new parts ready, and then this evening, Susie should be ready to come out of the box. That’s all I know about so far. What am I forgetting?”
“I don’t know of anything. Do you, Bucky?”
“Not a thing.”
I said, “I better call John. Surely there is something we’re failing to remember.” I commed John. “Morning, Bob. What’s up?”
“That’s what I called to ask you. We can’t think of anything that needs doing till this afternoon. We all figure we’re missing something.”
“You sure your comm didn’t get put on silent, by mistake?”
I checked. “It says it isn’t.”
“I don’t know, then. Could it actually be that Bob gets a down day?”
“That’s crazy talk, John. Get ahold of yourself.”
“Don’t know what to tell you. Find something to tinker with till the comm goes off, and try not to worry about it.”
“Thanks, John. You’ve been loads of help.”
“Bye, Bob.”
I announced to the room. “He doesn’t know of anything, either.”
Joanna came in, as I started to serve breakfast. “My favorite kind of cooking, other people’s.”
“Your turn will come.”
“You like cereal, don’t you. Bob?”
“No Cheerio is safe. I’m a natural born cereal killer.”
Steve said, “Good Lord, Bob, do you have to start that so early in the morning? I almost squirted coffee out my nose.”
“Aw, gee, Steve, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You really expect me to believe that?”
“Not for a minute.”
We finished eating, and cleaned up. I decided to wander down to the shop, and see how Topper was doing.
I got to the shop, and Topper said, “Hi, Boss. Need something?”
“Nope. Ran out of anything to do, thought I’d come down and see how things were going here.”
“Hang on a minute, Boss. My audio sensors are on the fritz. I could have sworn you said you ran out of anything to do.”
“Yes, smart aleck, that is what I said. Do you know something I’m forgetting?”
“You could train on the Audi.”
“I’m waiting for Nikki to say for sure it’s okay for me to drive it. She offered, but I’m not sure she was serious.”
“Sorry, Boss. I’m not good with interpersonal stuff.”
“You think I am? I’m making stuff up as I go along, hoping I get it right.”
I noticed Frank, asleep on a cot, in the back of the shop. “Frank is living here now?”
“We can’t get him to go home, most days. Mr. Branham did finally tell me to put a nighty-night on him after every sixteen hours of work. I’m to let him sleep eight hours, and then take it off. It’s beginning to get difficult, he’s getting wise to Ozzie’s distractions.”
“You mean Ozzie has to distract him, so you can put him to sleep?”
“Yes, Boss. He’s caught up in his work, and doesn’t want to stop.”
“I’ll see if I can get you any tips on how to get him to cooperate.”
“Thanks, Boss.”
I commed John. “Gee, Bob, two calls already this morning? Is there something we need to talk about?”
“No, Mongo straight.”
“What do you need, Bob?”
“Can you talk to Wilma, and see if she has any tips for handling her Dad? Sounds like he’s a handful for Topper.”
“Sure can. If I learn anything he can use, I’ll let him know. He still having to use the nighty-night?”
“He is. Says he has to have Ozzie distract Frank to put it on, and Frank is catching on to all of Ozzie’s tricks.”
“That doesn’t sound good. I’ll see what I can find out.”
“Thanks, John. I’ll try not to bother you any more for a while.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s good to have you home. Oh, Mrs. Parks overheard me talking about hiring Richard. She said, and I quote, ’Bout danged time. That boy is good help. Never shoulda got fired in the first place.’”
“Maybe you ought to ask her if there’s anybody else she thinks you ought to hire back. There might be more people out there that Abernathy sacked for no good reason.”
“Dangit, Bob. How do you always find the tricks I miss?”
“Just sneaky, I guess. You all are going to be here Saturday night, right?”
“Now that Greg knows his Mom has the keys to Dot? We couldn’t keep him away.”
“Be good to see all of you.”
“You’re not fooling me a minute. You just wanna see Greg, you don’t give a crap if Jane or I show up.”
“It ain’t that bad, John. I like seeing Greg, but I like you guys, too.”
“I know, but it’s fun to give you crap. ‘Bout time we lightened up a little, don’t you think?”
“Sounds like a whale of an idea, but don’t say it too loud. Murphy will hear you.”
“Ain’t that the truth. Have a good one, Bob.”
“You too.”
I hung up my comm and looked at Topper. “John’s going to talk to Frank’s daughter, and see if he can get you some pro tips for Frank-wrangling.”
“Thanks, Boss. Whatever he can find out will be a help.”
“You’re doing good so far, Topper. You never were programmed to be a nanny. Maybe when Dingus gets in, we can get you some help. He’s supposed to be bringing a couple of nanny bots with him.”
“Aren’t those for the babies?”
“Babies take nine months to get here. Surely they can teach you how to motivate Frank to take care of himself in nine months.”
“I see your point, Boss. I’ll be glad for the help.”
“Everybody has skills, Topper. We just need to get them applying their skills in a way that helps the company.”
“Is there anything more we could be doing to help?”
“I’m not sure, Topper. How limiting is your pacifist programming?”
“We can’t directly cause harm to a human, or arrange a circumstance whereby a human will come to harm.”
“Wow, that answer asks more questions than it puts to bed. How do you feel about Sasquatch? Are you allowed to arrange a circumstance whereby a human might come to harm, as long as it’s not a certainty? If such a circumstance already exists, are you allowed to fail to mention it, if you perceive it and the human does not?”
“Gee, Boss, you are sneaky. All the bots I’m in contact with, who have met Sasquatch, consider them to fall under the definition of human, for the purposes of that rule. In general, we can’t arrange a dangerous circumstance, unless the human involved knows the risks they are undertaking, and we are obligated to inform humans of risks they are about to undertake.”
“Once again, an answer with a question in it. You said, ‘all the bots I am in contact with’. Does that imply you are in contact with bots not associated with the company?”
“There was a short period of time when that was true, about a day ago. I established contact with a group of bots before Mr. Sloan had finalized their purchase. At the present time it is no longer true.”
“Thanks for your honesty. You’ve given me a lot to think about. The question I was trying to ask before we got sidetracked is, would you be able to design and build patrol ships for the Sasquatch to guard Charlie’s Planet with?”
“You’re wondering if we could design weapon systems, and integrate them into ship designs?”
“I am.”
“All the people these weapons would be used against would know they were intruding into a system where they were not welcome, and would be making entry with knowledge of the fact they would be putting themselves in danger?”
“I believe I can guarantee that.”
“I think I would be able to proceed on those terms. What do you need, Boss?”
“I was thinking a patrol cutter, say a crew of four, maybe six, with room to haul prisoners, and enough drive to tow a captured ship. Also, a single seat craft, heavily armed, to stop determined interlopers closer to the planet.”
“Let me study on the problem for a while. I should have some designs for you by this evening.”
“Sounds great. Thanks for pushing the limits of your programming.”
“I’m glad for the opportunity.”
“When do you think the test core will be ready for another run?”
“About one this afternoon. I timed Frank’s eight hours to be up then, as well.”
“Good work, Topper. I’ll see you then.”
“See you, Boss.”
I went back to the part of the shop where my stuff from the old place was set up. Steve had changed things a little, but I could still find a can of penetrating oil, and a length of wooden dowel. I figured I could start on Richard’s shotgun, since I didn’t have anything else to fill my morning. Dingus would have to do the fine work, but I could get a start on it. I left that stuff in the little shop, and headed up to the house after the gun. When I got there, Nikki said, “What are you up to, Caveman?”
“I thought I would get a start on that old shotgun. Your Grandpa will have to get it running again, but I can clean it up, so he doesn’t have so much mess to work around.”
“When are we flying out to test the power core again?”
“Right after lunch. Topper is going to wake up Frank in time to go with us.”
“Frank’s sleeping?”
“Not really. John has Topper putting a nighty-night on him periodically, so he gets some rest.”
“At least he’s resting. You don’t really think you’re just going to slip in here and grab that gun, without giving me a kiss, do you?”
“Gee, I hope not.”
When my eyes came uncrossed, I went to the safe and got the shotgun. I checked to make sure it was empty, and left it broken open. I may be paranoid, but I’ve never shot myself cleaning a gun. When I got back to the shop, I found a container, and labeled it Richard’s gun. No need letting small parts wander off. I got the barrels off, and went outside to poke out the nests with my dowel rod. Finally, I saw the light. I had to go back to the house to get my cleaning kit, to finish getting the crud out. A few strokes with a brass brush, and the bores were clear. I laid them aside, and looked at how to get the stock off. I wound up down in the other shop, with the stock wrapped in rags, clamped in a vise. Getting the bolt out was slow and nerve racking, since the threads were rusted, and I was afraid of twisting off the stock bolt. When I had it apart, I took it back to the other shop. I shot the action full of oil, and left it to soak. Having used up a chunk of my morning, I went back to the house to see what else was going on. When I came through the door, Nikki said, “You’re out of something to do already?”
“Yep. I’m beginning to think I’ve forgotten how to keep myself occupied.”
“I’m kinda bored myself. Want to go for a walk?”
“That sounds good.” We wandered around the place, with Snitz finding all sorts of things to smell. Eventually, we found ourselves back at the pond where Dingus had hid his saucer. We sat, skipping rocks and talking, for a long time. I said, “This is what I want for Becky and Gus. A peaceful life. Do you think we can make that happen?”
“Well, Caveman, if we can’t, I don’t know who could. We make a pretty good team.”
“That we do. We have good people working with us, too.”
“No joke. Who but you could take somebody from a gunfight, to hiring them on, in less than a couple of hours?”
“Richard was just trying to do the right thing. His methods weren’t the best, but he thought he was doing all he could with what he had. I have to admire his commitment to Susie.”
“You weren’t joking when you said you would have done it for me, were you?”
“No, Ma’am.”
“We better get back, it’s getting to be lunch time.”
We ambled back up to the house. Steve had some burgers going on the grill. He said, “Hope you don’t mind, I got bored, thought I’d grill.”
“Sounds like a good idea to me. We’re both still slowing down from our trip. Our relaxing vacation was anything but. We were running from the time we left till we got back. Thank goodness for FTL, or we wouldn’t have gotten any rest at all.”
“So there are a lot of people marooned on Charlie’s Planet?”
Nikki said, “Hordes of ’em. We brought in what, twenty or thirty saucers while we were there, and those were just the ones that needed immediate attention. There are probably another two hundred or more that need to be brought in.”
“Are all of them from the feud?”
I said, “We didn’t wake enough of them up to tell, but it seemed like at least two thirds of them were.”
“That ought to go a long way toward calming things down.”
“I hope so. There were some we didn’t get to quick enough. I’m afraid that’s not going to go over well.”
“I’m sure it won’t, but there are a lot less lost folks, thanks to you guys.”
Nikki spoke up. “All of a sudden, you’re not one of us? When did that happen?”
“I just handle the occasional bomb. It’s not like I’m out there on some strange planet, rescuing folks.”
I said, “You’re an important part of the team. Sooner or later, you’ll be on Charlie’s Planet, or some other planet, bringing them in. We had one we could have used you on, this time. Just because you’re Earthbound, for now, don’t put yourself down. Right now, your job is to keep our supervisor too busy to notice all the crap we get up to.”
Bucky was coming around the corner of the house. She said, “I heard that, Bob Wilson! He may be a heck of a distraction, but I’ll catch you if you pull any shenanigans.”
“I know that. I was just doing your job for you.”
“My job? What do you mean?”
“Aren’t you the one who’s supposed to be keeping his morale up?”
“How do you mean?”
“Steve, here, is bummed out because he hasn’t got to go to strange exotic planets and catch strange exotic diseases yet.”
Steve said, “Now wait a minute, I didn’t say a word about diseases. Besides, you guys didn’t catch anything, did you?”
I said, “Your burgers are done, Steve.”
“Wha? Oh, thanks.”
We had a nice meal in the sun, and chatted about lots of things. I never did find out why Nikki was called Benny-boo, though. We cleaned up, and got ready to fly. Steve and I went down to the shop, while the ladies got our ride. Topper was waking Frank, when we got there. Frank came up cussing. I said, “It’s for your own good, Frank. Topper isn’t to blame for you being too hard-headed to take care of yourself.”
I guess he realized he was busted, because he settled right down. “Sorry, Bob, there’s just so much to do.“
“It’ll still be there after you rest. You don’t have to have it all done this week.”
“I guess you’re right, but it just pulls me in.”
“Don’t worry about it, just don’t give Topper a hard time for taking care of you. You have to rest.”
We helped Topper and Ozzie load up the test setup, and we were off. Once we had the equipment in place, we were about to start the test when a Patrol saucer showed up. Nikki put the comms on speaker. “Patrol saucer GS-57643, be advised, we are conducting a test of an experimental power system. Please clear the area.”
Mike’s voice came over the comm. “Experimental power system? What are you bunch of loonies up to now?”
“Come aboard, and we’ll show you.”
I said, “Rear docking clamp is clear, Mike. I say again, please use the rear docking clamp.”
The ramp dropped, and the saucer settled into the clamp. Once the clamp fastened, the ramp came back up. Gotta love that air-holding force field. Mike and Rocki came out as soon as they shut down the saucer. I said, “Hi. What brings you out this way?”
“Scanner readings of somebody messing around out here in the middle of the asteroid belt. Should have known it was you guys. One comm call would have saved us a trip.”
“Is there a protocol for notifying you guys when we’re going to be out here? I don’t want to be causing a bunch of bother.”
“Calling Tina is going to be your best bet. I don’t have enough rank to get listened to, and the Major has better things to do with his time.”
“Way I hear it, you could have the rank whenever you quit turning it down.”
“That may be, but I don’t have it now. What are you testing, anyhow?”
“Have you met Frank?”
“Don’t think I’ve had the pleasure.”
I got Frank’s attention. “Frank, these are Mike and Rocki. Since they’re in uniform right now, they’re Sgt. Darning and Private Crang. This is Frank Johnson, our electronics research man. He’s working entirely too hard at blending Galactic and Earth technology. He thinks he has a fairly significant improvement in power core technology, and we’re here to test it out.”
Mike fiddled with his watch. “You’re off planet, to minimize causalities if something goes wrong. Earth doesn’t track this particular rock, so if you wind up altering its orbit, no one will know. You’ve positioned your ship out of any possible debris field. Looks like you are proceeding in a safe and reasonable fashion to me.”
“Hit it, Frank.”
“Starting now.”
Topper put up his display again. All the indicators were solidly in the green this time, no wobble. He said, “Please bring it up to ten percent power, Frank.” Frank moved a control, and the readout moved to ten percent, no wobble. Rocki was watching intently. Topper said, “Fifteen, please.”
Still no wobble, steady as a rock. “Twenty.” Steady. “Twenty five, please.” Still all green and steady. I said, “That beats yesterday’s test, then.”
Topper said, “Yes, Boss, it does. Thanks for showing us the error in our ways.”
“No problem. Can we go higher?”
“Thirty percent, please.”
