Finding wings, p.15
Finding Wings, page 15
He supposed most people saw his switch from cop to EMT as a demotion. It probably was, in the sense that he’d taken a small cut in salary—ostensibly because he wasn’t directly putting his life on the line every day as an EMT the way he had as a cop.
Not that he’d faced a whole lot of risk as a cop in tiny Langhorne, Missouri. In fact, sometimes he thought he faced more risk now, as an EMT—certainly when he worked the scene of an accident or a fire or when he got called in on a domestic violence incident like the one last June where a gun-wielding woman threatened to kill her husband while their two toddlers cowered under the kitchen table. He cringed at the memory. Not for what he’d witnessed, but for those poor kids. And as he did so often whenever he thought of that night, he shot up a prayer that God might wipe the memory of that night from those little boys’ minds.
He would help Ma however he could, but that bill wouldn’t get paid overnight. He sighed. He’d heard several of the older guys at work talk about the burden they had caring for parents who hadn’t been wise with their money. Most of them at least had siblings who were helping out with the bills. But not only could his brother not help, but Robby came with his own expenses. Yes, their father paid the bills at the group home, but there were always incidentals that came out of pocket. And since he’d started with the Langhorne force, he paid those bills so Ma wouldn’t have to.
He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket again, clicked on Contacts, and stared at Quinn’s name and number on the screen.
He and Britt already had a major challenge trying to find time together. If he took on additional work, that might be the end of them until the Mitchells’ house was finished and their baby safely born. And that was a ways off.
Worse, if he took that job, he’d be working out at the sisters’ property. Britt—and her sisters too … even Quinn—would have every right to think it looked suspiciously as if he was stalking Britt. But it might also give him a chance, however brief, to see her and keep alive the friendship that had deepened between them. It was hard to believe that he’d only really known her for three weeks now.
Was it foolish to even think of applying for that job? Or was it God’s answer to his prayers?
CHAPTER 21
GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE. MERRY CHRISTMAS.” Britt closed the door of Quinn and Phee’s house and headed for her SUV. She heard Jo and Luke laughing with Mateo behind her and though it made her feel even lonelier, she just wanted to get back to her cabin to be alone with her thoughts.
It had been a strange Christmas, spent in Phee’s room, like at Thanksgiving, except today’s gathering had ended early since Phee wasn’t feeling well.
Britt stared into the white beam of her headlights on the dark highway, the striped middle line ticking, ticking, ticking past. The holidays hadn’t been the same since Mom died. It didn’t help that Daddy had bowed out of Christmas at the last minute, citing his desire to come when Phee’s baby was born instead. March felt a long way off, and she knew Dad could afford to make the trip twice. Maybe he just couldn’t take off work both times, but he hadn’t said that, and she worried there was more to it than he let on.
She angled her neck from side to side, feeling a headache coming on and doing her best to push off the blanket of melancholy that settled over her.
But it wasn’t only Chandler family matters that had put a pall over the holidays. Apparently, it was Rafe’s family too. He seemed distant lately and even though they’d spoken on the phone several times, he told her last night—via text, no less—that he was dealing with some family issues and that it might be a while before he could get away.
For once, they didn’t have guests at the Airbnb, so she could just go home and relax. Maybe get started on the next book club selection. She blew out a little huff. Who was she kidding? She would go home and mope.
At the cabin, she unloaded the empty dishes and leftover food she’d taken to Quinn and Phee’s. As she was coming out for the last load, Jo’s car came up the lane, but instead of parking in front of the cottage, Jo pulled up beside Britt. Great. She didn’t really feel like talking.
Jo got out and came around to the passenger side. “Need help?”
“Nope, this is the last of it. Do you need help unloading?” As soon as she’d offered she wished she could take it back. She just wanted to be alone.
“No, I just have a couple of things to take in to the fridge. I sent most of my leftovers home with Luke.”
“That was sweet. But don’t think you can come over and eat mine.”
“Haha. No, I’ll probably have to go over tomorrow and show him how to heat up leftovers. So I’ll get my share after all.” She tilted her head and studied Britt. “Is everything okay, sis?”
“Everything’s fine. Why?”
“You were awfully quiet tonight. And … I kind of thought Rafe might join us.”
“No. Like I told you before, he had family stuff going on.”
“Are you guys still … getting along? I know you really like him.” Jo took a heavy casserole dish from the top of the stack in Britt’s arms and they started toward the house.
She sighed. May as well spill, as long as Jo was willing to listen.
“I do really like him. But as of today it’s been almost a week since I’ve laid eyes on the man. A week, Jo, with no future date in sight!”
“Why is that?”
She shrugged. “You’ve got me. I mean, it is Christmas, after all. He told me he’s dealing with some family stuff, but he didn’t go into detail. I don’t know, Jo. Maybe he really does have family stuff going on, but I just can’t shake the feeling that something’s off.”
“Do you think it’s his brother? I know Luke sometimes seemed a little … distant when we were first dating, especially where Mateo was concerned. But then he knew I was really hesitant about Mateo.”
Britt smiled. “Kind of hard to believe you ever had a problem with that sweet kid, isn’t it?”
“I know. I was a total jerk. It’s a miracle Luke put up with me as long as he did.”
“I’m guessing he thought you were worth it.”
Jo returned her smile. “Thanks. I’m trying to make up for lost time.”
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about. It’s obvious Mateo adores you.”
“Almost as much as he adores you.”
Britt eyed her. “You’re not jealous are you?”
“No! I’m thrilled Mateo likes my sisters as much as he likes me. I mean, he’s stuck with us. All of us.”
Britt chuckled. “Poor kid.”
They went inside and worked together putting leftovers in the fridge and washing up the empty bowls and pans.
“I never let you answer about Rafe.” Joanna hung the dish towel to dry before turning to her. “Do you think the issues he’s dealing with are about his brother?”
Shaking her head, Britt gave the counter one last swipe with the sponge. “No. Rafe said it has something to do with his mom. But he didn’t offer any details. Not that he owes me that. I mean, we’re still just getting to know each other. I don’t expect to be in on family decisions or anything like that. But … it feels like there’s too much he’s not telling me.”
“You think he’s hiding something from you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’m just not asking the right questions. But I don’t want to be that woman who chases a guy off by being overly pushy or possessive or … I don’t know. It seems like he’s withdrawing. And just when I felt like we really had something between us. I don’t want this to fizzle out for reasons I can’t control. Or even understand. I keep replaying our conversations in my mind, wondering if I said something that ticked him off.”
“Like what? Unlike me, you’re not the type to rub people the wrong way, Britt.”
“Well, for one thing, when we were Christmas shopping last week I had to open my big mouth and tell him I didn’t want to exchange gifts.”
“Why’d you tell him that?”
She waved her sister off. “It’s not like I made a big announcement or anything. You had to be there to hear it in context. But … I don’t know, maybe he took it the wrong way, because he sure took it to the next level. No gifts, no date, no nuthin’. And as adamant as he was at first about being creative and making time to see each other, he hasn’t mentioned getting together at all, let alone during the holidays.”
Jo clucked sympathetically. “Maybe he just doesn’t know how important it is to you.”
“Yeah. Or maybe he’s having second thoughts about me.”
“So … You haven’t talked to him in a week? How did you leave things last time you were together?”
“Oh no, we’ve talked. On the phone. And texted. But something has definitely changed. And when I think about how he broke up with his last girlfriend, it worries me that he has commitment issues or something.” She briefed Jo on how Rafe had broken things off with that girl at the hospital the same day she and Rafe went to Panera. “It all seemed perfectly logical when he was telling me about breaking up with her, but now I’m second-guessing myself.”
“Talk to him, Britt. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my relationship with Luke, it’s that you can’t expect a guy to read your mind or know what you want unless you tell him. If Rafe takes that as you being pushy and forward, then maybe he’s not the guy for you. I know you might not want to hear—”
“Oh, but I want him to be the guy for me, Jo. So bad! I’ve never felt this way about any other man. You might think I’m crazy for saying this when I’ve only known him for a few weeks, but … I think I love him!” She hadn’t meant to say the words out loud, but they were out now.
“Then, Britt … talk to him!” Jo held up a warning hand. “I’m not saying tell him you love him. It might be a little soon for that. But tell him you’re worried about how he’s withdrawn. Give him a chance to say yay or nay to whether it’s true. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”
“You really think I should? Tonight?”
Jo shrugged. “No time like the present. It’s still early. Unless you know he’s celebrating with family tonight.”
“That’s just it. I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing. On Christmas night. That’s not a very good sign for our relationship.”
“Don’t jump to conclusions until you know for sure. You’ll just have to pray about the timing and then decide. And you know I’ll be praying too. But talk to him. If you care about him, don’t let things just fizzle out without at least talking it through. Otherwise you’ll always wonder.”
She gave her sister a grateful smile. “I wasn’t really in the mood to talk, but I’m so glad you came by.”
“Merry Christmas, sis.”
“You too.” Britt leaned in for a hug.
“Now, I’m headed to Luke’s for a movie with my guys. Do you want to come?”
“No. Thanks. You’re sweet to offer, but I need time to think and pray and decide what to do.”
“Attagirl.”
Rafe tossed his phone on the bed, the calculator app still showing the ugly numbers. As devastating as it would be to his own financial future, tomorrow he would cash in his CD and pay off as much of his mother’s gambling debts as he could.
He ran a hand through his hair and yanked on the ends, as if he could fix the problem by sheer will. How Ma had gotten in this deep, he couldn’t even imagine. But the several thousand dollars she’d told him about that night had somehow suddenly become eleven thousand.
According to Ma, the supposed friend who’d lent her the original money had fronted her the cash to play the slots, insisting she could make enough to pay him back for the original loan. But it had all backfired. Ma’s winning streak was over, and now she was in twice as deep and the man was making demands—Rafe considered them threats—to be paid back in full before year’s end.
He pulled up his bank account on the laptop again, even though he knew that opening the accounts one more time was not going to change the numbers. Ma’s predicament had consumed his thoughts and energy every waking moment. It didn’t help matters that he’d worked a traffic fatality last night. The darkness of that always hung on for a day or two. Especially when it was a seventeen-year-old kid with his whole life ahead of him. Now a family would spend their first horrific holidays without their beloved son, brother, grandson, nephew.
He’d spent what was supposed to be the hap-hap-happiest day of the year between Ma’s house and the group home with Robby. And they’d both been testy and restless and completely lacking in holiday spirit. Worse, he’d all but ignored Britt. The few texts he had sent her were terse and almost dismissive. His intent wasn’t to take out his frustrations on her, but he knew that’s how she would see it. And of course, she had no idea of what was happening with his mother. Or with work.
He owed her an explanation, but again and again, he’d put it off because he wouldn’t blame her if she dumped him when she found out what he was up against. And realistically, he had no business trying to date anyone, let alone Britt Chandler. Until Mom’s loans were paid off, he wouldn’t have a minute to spare. And once the loans were paid, he would have little money and even more to hide. He had nothing to offer a woman who deserved everything.
There was only one last wild card he was willing to play. He’d wavered back and forth about calling Quinn Mitchell. He didn’t want to risk Britt—or the rest of her family—thinking he was stalking her. But now he had no choice. And Quinn’s job would be a lifeline, given the flexibility of the hours. He fished his cell phone from his back pocket and dialed the number.
CHAPTER 22
THAT’S THE LAST OF IT.” Britt placed the lid on the shoebox of decorations left over from the cottage and cabins. Jo had insisted they put up a few lights and a garland of greenery in Phee’s room before their sad little Christmas dinner around her bed. With Christmas plates and napkins it had looked festive enough, even if their spirits were all low.
She hated to admit what a relief it was to have this holiday over. One that used to be her favorite. Now, if she could just get through New Year’s Eve, she thought she might breathe easy again.
Phee’s doctor wanted her to make it until at least the end of February before she went into labor. She would be thirty-six weeks then. Once the calendar turned to the new year, that would seem possible. Less than eight and a half weeks. Single digits. Surely they could all make it through till then. And if by some miracle Phee made it past that, every day in March closer to her due date would be a victory.
Britt carried the box to her SUV and then went back in to say goodbye. Quinn was home all week, so she and Jo had planned to get caught up on cleaning and upkeep at the Airbnb. But now, both cabins were booked through the first week of January, so Britt would be staying with Jo at the cottage. Still, it would be a break from the boredom of sitting with Phee.
Jo had suggested setting up a baby monitor in Phee’s room, but she balked at having a camera trained on her every move. Instead, Quinn installed an intercom system so Phee could call from her room to the kitchen or living room. It gave whoever was on Phee-watch a little more freedom. Still, though they’d supplied Phee’s bedside table with everything she could possibly need, there was so much she simply couldn’t do for herself without getting out of bed. Thankfully, over these weeks Britt’s earlier annoyance had turned to compassion. Ironic though it seemed, bed rest was not for the faint of heart.
When she entered Phee’s room, Quinn was on the phone at the desk they’d moved into the bedroom so he could work but also keep Phee company. Britt gave him a little wave and went to speak quietly to her sister. “Anything else you need me to do before I head home?”
“Nope. We’re good. You go home and enjoy some time off. And thanks for everything, sis.” She scooted up in the bed, groaning with the growing weight of the baby.
“You’re still feeling okay?”
“I’m fine. Just bored silly.”
“Well, if Quinn needs to go out, don’t hesitate to call. I’ll be home most of the week.”
Phee waved her off. “We’ll be fine. But thanks.”
“Tell Quinn goodbye. And happy new year in advance.”
He apparently heard her and turned to wave at her, smiling. She started to leave, but he motioned to her and mouthed, “Wait.”
She looked to Phee, thinking she might know what Quinn wanted, but her sister only shrugged.
Britt sat on the edge of the bed to wait. She couldn’t help overhearing Quinn’s end of the phone conversation.
“I’m okay with that,” he was saying. “Hey, I’ll take whatever hours you can give me. So when could you start?” A pause as Quinn listened, then, “Great! You bet … glad it will work out. See you on Tuesday.”
He must have found someone interested in the hourly work she’d heard him talking to Rafe about. Rafe must have steered a friend his way. The thought made her realize how desperate she was for a connection, however frail, that would keep her tethered to Rafe.
Quinn continued, eyeing her as he spoke. “No, you can just come out to the construction site. You’ve been here, right? The Airbnb on Poplar Brook Road? Good deal. See you then.” He clicked End and laid his phone on the desk. “That was your friend Rafe. Did you know he was going to call?”
She shook her head. “About what?” Had Rafe known she was here?
“He’s going to help me with the finish work on the house. I talked to him about it a couple weeks ago and—”
“Yes, I heard that. I guess I didn’t realize you meant him.”
“Actually, I didn’t. I just thought he might know someone at work who’d be interested. But it turns out he’s interested himself. You should have said something!”
